The Top 5 Things Wrong with Mainstrm RPGs of the Last 30 Yrs

Five: Having a stupid fucking "epic" story.

eral Fuckface just captured the courtly guard and is lding an airship rebellion in an attempt to control the flow of magical resources powering strmpunk army robots while young white guy farmer lrns about morals and philosophy 101 while fucking up a clichéd, emotional romance. Giant ragtag bunch of heroes saves the world and lrns exactly one thing about themselves, solving many of the psychological problems haunting the characters. There is twist, after twist, after twist in this "epic" plot, but by the end of it you just wish it was over.

Four: Being sy as hell.

Pretty selfexplanatory--if you're not dying you're not playing a good game.Notable exceptions: Ultima, Roguelikes, Diablo 1, Diablo 2, Diablo 3, Quest 64.

Three: Lack of Scope.

Seriously guys, Ultima I has 8 Castles, 32 towns, and 26 dungeons to explore. What the fuck. Notable exceptions: Ultima, Quest 64, World of Warcraft, Everquest.

Two: No Randomization.

Why is it many games continue to drive the player through the same dungeons over and over? I'm looking at you, Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy. Notable exceptions: Crawl, Net, all roguelikes, Diablo, Diablo 2, Diablo 3.

One: Having a party instd of one character.

Why do so many games have a party of adventurers? Are we soschizophrenic? Even Ultimaeventuallyfell victim to thisunfortunatetrend. What seems like an avdance is actually a cleverly-designedartificiaame extender. Battles take 4 times as long, and you need four times the supplies and gr. Things become watered down, and I don't even think game developers are aware of what a drag parties in RPGs can be. Notable exceptions: Roguelikes, Ultima 1 and 2, Moraff's World, Quest 64.

It's pretty simple when you look at it. Good RPGs will tend to have a single character, gigantic scope, and a lot of randomization. It almost seems like , because any game made with this formula sounds pretty damn fun.



Instd, gamers get railroaded down a single boring path of 12-15 hours of time-destroying brainrot.